Tumblr Mouse Cursors
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border: none; } .mobile .content-outer { font-size: 100%; } .mobile-link-button { background-color: #ff0066; } .mobile-link-button a:link, .mobile-link-button a:visited { color: #1c1c1c; } .mobile-index-contents { color: #cccccc; } .mobile .tabs-inner .PageList .widget-content { background: #dd0065 none repeat scroll bottom; color: #ffffff; } .mobile .tabs-inner .PageList .widget-content .pagelist-arrow { border-left: 1px solid #000000; } -->

Dienstag, 11. Oktober 2011

was hast du denn da mein schatz ? ..

es war 15.30 uhr. ich kniete auf dem boden und musste alles wischen. badezimmer . dusche . die badewanne. Alles war voller blut. Alles war rot. Bin ich bekloppt ? Bin ich nich mehr dicht ? Denkt ihr es macht mir spass ? Im gegenteil. Es zerstoert mich. Ein gefuehl der erbaermlichkeit. Ein gefuehl der hilflosigkeit. Es macht mich kaputt. Es macht mich so traurig. Ich weiss garnich was zur zeit schlimmer ist. Das ich mich drueber so aufrege und trozdem nich aufhoeren kann oder doch die traurigkeit und trauer darueber.Es ist so depremierend. wenn wir mal ehrlich sind, eigentlich hätte ich mir denken können, wie es so enden wird , wenn ich aufs neue einen rasierer auseinander baue. klar war, ich stand mal wieder kurz vor einem unheimlich unguenstigen nervenzusammenbruch. ich durfte nicht heulen, dann hätte meine mutter mich gehoert und waere reingeplatzt wie beim letzten mal, als ich im bad einen zusammenbruch hatte. ich konnte mich nach dem duschen nur hinsetzen und es weiter meine beine runterlaufen lassen, denn der klaffende schnitt bereitete mir heute morgen noch mehr übelkeit als letzte nacht.


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